if we were having coffee

If We Were Having Coffee is a personal blog post feature that I discovered via one of my favorite book blogs back when it was a book blog *throws a leaf’s worth of shade* It’s an opportunity to both share things about yourself with your readers and check in and reflect. Since I don’t drink coffee though, all my points are going to be “if we were having tea” because tea is better and more tasty and…just better.

if we were having tea…I’d tell you I’m rereading ACOMAF in preparation to finally read ACOWAR in preparation for ACOFAS and that I’m enjoying it. I don’t remember everything from ACOTAR so it gets a little confusing so far, but I’m absorbing much more from the book this time around so hopefully I won’t feel so lost in ACOWAR when I go for it again.

if we were having tea…I’d tell you I’m really sad that I’m working tomorrow because I REALLY want to do Dewey’s Read-A-Thon, which I do almost every time. I’m going to try to do some reading at work since I’m allowed to and read most of the night, but I’m worried I’ll be too tired the next day and then tired for work on Monday.

if we were having teaI’d admit I’m having trouble with work-life balance. Working as a teen librarian is my first full-time job and it’s very hard to adjust to after part-time work and continuing to be a student. I feel like all I do is work, eat dinner, and go to sleep, with very little time for fun things, and I worry that fun things even like doing a 24 hour read a thon will tire me out too much, even though I know I’ll catch up on the sleep eventually and it won’t be the end of the world to be tired.

if we were having tea…I’d probably cry a little and say that my newish (as of February) apartment still doesn’t really feel like home. I feel like everything is always a mess because I’m messy but then I look at the mess no matter how small and feel so anxious and overwhelmed by it that I avoid it and it creates more mess and it’s just an endless vicious cycle. I’d also say the kittens stressing me out is contributing to it because I want to just love them and shower them with affection but they’re so rambunctious and naughty because they are babies and all I feel toward them right now is stress, so it’s good that my boy is there often to not yell at them and shower them with only love. I’m worried they don’t like me because I tell them not to do things and kick them off the counter.

if we were having tea…I’d tell you I started reading From Twinkle, With Love and thus far am…disappointed. Twinkle’s voice reads REALLY juvenile and she’s just very annoying. I like the format, but I am having trouble getting into it because I’m not a Twinkle fan even though her name is the best.

if we were having tea…I’d tell you I’m really happy that I’ve been interacting more with the new blogging community. I used to be really scared to comment on other people’s blogs, but I feel like I have to do that to get noticed and also to feel fulfilled in my blogging life, because I used to feel so isolated and not part of the bookish community. Now, even though my newest blog is small in terms of followers and views, I feel like I’m more connected because I get and give comments more often, even from bloggers I really like. I feel like the new bloggers are much more open and friendly than the people I used to idolize and look up to, and I feel they are much more my peers than I people I used to be into.

if we were having tea…I’d say I’ve been a little depressed because of the lack of doing fun things and not doing other things I enjoy, like playing music or writing. I want to do these things but can’t seem to find the motivation, especially writing, even though I think doing it would really help me because I always feel more positive and happy when I’m working on a new writing project. I think it’s partially fear of failure, but also I just can’t find the motivation to just sit down and actually write even though I really want to. Not doing anything creative (other than blogging I guess) is really taking a toll on me and I need to do something about it, I just don’t know how.

What would you tell me if we sat down and had a tea party (cucumber sandwiches included)?

7 thoughts on “if we were having coffee

  1. I totally understand what you mean about adjusting to working full time. I’ve been doing it for over three years now and while I’m more used to it, I feel like I haven’t fully adjusted to the work/life balance and only having a few hours to myself (if that) every day, It is super liberating though to have the responsibility and financial independence that a full time job brings though so I do find that really rewarding! Hopefully you are able to get into a more balanced routine soon 🙂

    I’m sorry to hear you’re not enjoying TWINKLE…I’ve honestly seen more negative reviews than positive, which is such a bummer because so many people loved WHEN DIMPLE MET RISHI. I have an e-arc of TWINKLE and I’m nervous to read it…

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    1. I do like the job, so that’s definitely a plus. I was so worried I’d get the degree and find I didn’t like doing it, but thankfully I really enjoy working with the patrons at the library and find that (and being independent) really rewarding.

      I haven’t actually seen many reviews of Twinkle yet, but that is indeed disheartening. Dimple was one of my favorites last year and I was just so looking forward to Twinkle.

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  2. Breathe….I hope you’re feeling better since writing this. I won’t say that I know how you feel but I understand. I went through a similar situation. It was a big struggle finding that balance and most days I feel like I still don’t have it But..having friends to talk to and using even just five minutes of my day for something I’m passionate about helps. I had to swap out a few “I must do this & I must do that…” to prioritize my mental health. I hope you find something that will work for you! ❤ ❤ Send as much love as the clouds can carry

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    1. Thank you so much for this comment ❤ I am closer to friends now and talking to them does certainly help. My work partner and I are also getting to know each other better and we really like and get along with one another so that makes work more fun and less stressful also. So hopefully things will start to seem less stressful soon.

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  3. I’m sorry to hear you’ve been feeling a bit lost and not quite at home in your new place. It’s really hard to adjust to working life, I struggled with it a little bit as well and sometimes still am. It’s hard not to be able to do so many things, while at the same time wanting to do everything haha. I hope you will find your routine soon and that you’ll feel more at home as well.
    I’m sorry you’re not too fond of Twinkle so far, I’m lookin forward to reading this book. I’ll keep my fingers crossed that, by the end, it will still be enjoyable for you 🙂
    I’m really glad you are feeling better about the blogging community and to chat with other bloggers as well and I hope no one was unfriendly to you at all, you deserve the best, you’re such a sweet blogger and I am really happy to chat with you through comments 🙂

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    1. It’s definitely hard to prioritize everything I want to do. But I think prioritizing some fun things is important for me since I’ve been just so totally focused on work. It’s kinda good to hear I’m not the only person who has struggled with this.

      I did have a couple weird interactions with some “big” bloggers when I first started, and honestly since I’m super sensitive it kinda made me not want to risk talking to people. I feel like bloggers now are way less “serious” people and more open to conversation so it’s really nice.

      And I enjoy talking to you as well! I’ve admired your blog for a while now and it’s nice to connect 🙂

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      1. Oh I’m sorry you had weird interactions like that :/ I understand why it would make you, well, not want to try out too much. I’m happy you found out your kind of bloggers now, though, we all have our kind of people here somewhere and, once we find them, it’s the BEST 😀 ❤

        Oh wow, you're so, so, sweet, thank you so much, that means a lot! I'm thrilled to chat with you, too ❤ ❤

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